Monday, 25 April 2011 14:44

Portal 2 (PC, 2011)


ps3_portal2_shot1So, couple years back, Valve put out this strange little orange box which contained a couple minor little titles. Y’know, no-name stuff like Team Fortress 2, three flavors of Half-Life 2, and a little flea-speck that absolutely NOBODY noticed… called Portal. That particular utterly obscure title that I’m sure nobody other than me has ever heard of was based around a simple concept. You’ve got a gun. It does exactly one thing: make holes. Not bullet holes, like most guns. No, this little thing punches right through the fabric of reality and pokes through to another hole nearby. If you were extremely lucky, you might even have found the upgrade that let it make two different colored holes that always connected to each other! But hey, what good is a hole through reality to a gamer like you, I mean, it’s not like you could somehow use them to solve tests or anything, right…? Well, four million sales of Portal later, Valve’s released the highly anticipated sequel to that completely inconsequential little game, named… Portal 2.

Published in Video Game Reivews
Monday, 25 April 2011 09:07

The Cake Is NOT a Lie

So, if you had a gun that could shoot holes in space that would allow you to step in one and out the other, where would you go? Myself, I think I’d find my way into a nice, quiet spot where I could just kick back, relax, and enjoy some nice cake. Not another care in the world, unlike Chell, who’s just woken up from a long nap only to find herself at the Portal 2 an entirely new adventure.

…Yeah, I’m sorry, that’s the best I could come up with.

Published in New Reviews

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