Let us take a moment to enjoy the irony of me posting this the day before the movie's release on video, some four months after it came out.

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Okay, I'm done.

The 2007 Transformers movie was an experience I will never forget. I saw it at Anime Expo with about three thousand other screaming yelling ravenous fans, the day (in some cases only hours) before its general release in North America on July 2nd. It was a once in a lifetime event, and I'll be damned if it didn't live up to every hope and dream I've had for the Transformers mythos since I was a child watching them blow the shit out of each other on some local channel.

Some two, maybe three, weeks before I was in Target, checking out the toys which were still plentiful, but also noting that there was paraphernalia all over the place. Transformers wall clocks, Transformers paper plates, Transformers shoes...it was everywhere. A strange feeling overcame me at that moment; something I'd not felt in so long it took me awhile to place it. It was that strange anticipation, that sense of excitement and yearning, and unnameable feeling that accompanied that time period so long ago back in 1986. What was old was new again, and right then, I felt like that ten year old boy so long left behind looking at all the pretty toys I'd never get, but wanted desperately as Transformers the Movie's release date rapidly approached. Heh, I suppose that's why I obsessively collect reiisues...I can now get the toys I never had the chance to get, but always wanted. They often go into a display case now, but I still take them out to play with them from time to time. Except for that Masterpiece Convoy (Optimus Prime) signed by Peter Cullen...I'd quantum lock that thing if I could.

The day of the movie I miscalculated time in a lot of ways. For one, I miscalculated how much time it'd take to get packed up, loaded up, and out of the hotel. And for another I miscalculated just how early I'd need to be in line. The first problem took nearly two hours more than I was expecting to take, due to the fact that everyone else wanted to check out right then too...which kept the elevator tied up for awhile. Considering I had only planned on making two trips, you can imagine how much stuff I had on me...going down the stairs while doable, would have probably landed me in the hospital. The second problem is a symptom of my ongoing love affair with taking pictures of all the cosplayers and their wonderful costumes. I should not have set aside time to do some last minute picture taking...it damn near cost me the experience...which would have been ironic since I was one of the guys that was actually interviewed on the subject the previous day for Anime Expo Backstage(which unfortunately appears to be down at the moment).

Heading up to the Terrace theatre, I saw...what could only be described as magnificence! Thousands of people lined up to watch Transformers...my God it was beautiful. Fortunately they were letting people with disabilities in front, which fits the description of a number of my companions (seriously folks, if you're in a wheel chair, anemic, what have you...go to the front), and I wasn't forced to wait to get in. This resulted in getting front row seats right in the center (or close to it).

While we were sitting down waiting for the movie to start, Mayhem received a call from someone who had found the Naga plush good luck charm we'd had for the longest time. We'd given her up for lost, so this day was getting better and better.

As is the custom at Anime Expo, the movie started over an hour late. In the interim it was up to us to keep ourselves occupied while the powers that be did whatever it was they were doing while fucking up the time schedule. So it was basically talk to your neighbor, go the bathroom quickly (and I do mean quickly), get a drink...simple stuff like that. We had the press walking around, taking pictures of the crowd, and a guy dressed as the Pepsi Man from Virtua Fighter getting the crowd energized.

This is the exact moment we found out the kind of people that were handling this event. I wish to stress that the Pepsi Man was just leading the crowd in a chant of “Pepsi! Pepsi!” while we waited for the movie to start. There was no roughhousing or any other sort of unruly behavior; just a lot of people sharing the energy and keeping enthused. Completely harmless, right?

Well, apparently someone from the SPJA didn't think so...and they can't tell me she wasn't from the SPJA, that would be ludicrous on so many levels. As Pepsi Man was doing his cheer leading thing, a voice came on the loudspeaker saying, and I roughly quote: “Sit down and shut up! If you don't I just won't play this movie, and I don't give a rat's ass!”

This convention had been the source of anger and frustration to intolerable levels to everyone in this theatre. All we wanted to do was sit down and watch Michael Bay's two hour piece of nerd pr0n that would lead into the biggest geek fangasmic circle jerk of all time. And this bitch says what now?

I saw three thousand fans, in unison, turn to look at a rather unattractive obese twenty something year old woman (and I use that term very loosely) with a promise of death in their eyes. I think she actually realized at that moment, she had made a mistake with that split second look of “Oh, shit!” in her eyes. I seem to recall someone else from the SPJA walking up and talking with her at that point, and I can only imagine what went on. All I know is, it only stopped the Pepsi Man, but did not stop our overwhelming enthusiasm...though it did add an element of anger to it that might have easily turned into a riot if she'd kept up any of her shit. She comes on later saying that Paramount was going to take the film at 4:00pm weather they were done or not.

First off, and I address this to the young lady in question (again, I use the term very loosely), you should not have been there. In fact, if that's how you think of the fans that attend this convention, you need to leave and never come back. You owe every single person at that theatre a personal apology and you should never be allowed to proctor an event, especially unsupervised (and anywhere near an intercom) again. Your actions were deplorable and childish, and were I your mother, I'd have tanned your hide. Secondly, if Paramount was going to take the film, why not oh...I dunno...START THE FUCKING MOVIE ON TIME?! If there was such a time limit, that delay was inexcusable...but then that was pretty much business as usual for Anime Expo, though I think this time it cost you more than just some attendee annoyance.

You'll note over at the Anime Expo Forums that the moderators are engaged in a bit of FUD concerning the incident in question. They deny knowing who this lady is...almost to the point of denying knowledge of the incident itself. This patently bullshit. Paramount would have made the SPJA financially responsible for that film, especially if there was a stipulation that they were going to recover it by 4:00pm. This is a transaction worth millions of dollars should Anime Expo misplace that film. That means that the SPJA was there, probably most of the higher leadership to oversee the handling of that print. Not knowing who that girl was is an utter impossibility. Likely she was SPJA, and one of the higher echelon at that.

Eventually the movie started to the very vocal delight of everyone there. This only subsided for a split second and then with the first words of Optimus Prime, given life and voice by the voice of God himself, Peter Cullen, the applause grew to a thunderous roar the likes of which would drown the roar of the opening knell of Ragnarok.

The screen was barely big enough for everyone there, and that's being generous in my assessment. The sound system, I heard, had to be some third party hack job due to some sort of union constraint on the use of the sound system of the theatre itself. You could barely make out what people were saying about half the movie. People kept screaming at every little thing, though only reaching that crescendo of sound made the beginning when we finally heard Hugo Weaving stating, “I...AM MEGATRON!”

And you know something? This was the most badass movie going experience in my whole goddamn life. In fact, this may well rank up there as THE most badass thing I've ever been a part of. Being one of those screaming, yelling, whooping fans watching a movie on a screen too small with a sound system too lame was nothing short of...

You know, I can't describe the feeling. It was stated on our forums that this is what it must have been like to be in a Roman Coliseum. Honestly, I can see it...the enthusiasm, the shear presence, the overwhelming POWER of the place was...was...like a religious experience. There's nothing I've seen or done that's come close, and having been in the military and hung out over in the Middle East for months at a time, that's saying something.

To top it all off, someone...I'm not sure who he was or who he worked for, but he came out in front of everyone after the movie was done...with an Allspark prop. I saw at least a dozen fans rush up and bow in its presence while pictures were snapped left and right. I wanted a press badge so desperately then I could taste it.

I had to go see the movie itself a couple more times afterwards, and it was a damn good movie in and of itself. As I've said, it was everything I ever wanted for the mythos since I was a child, and certainly what the property needed after they started letting Takara make the animated series again starting with Transformers 2000 and ending with Transformers:Galaxy Force (Cybertron). Honestly, no one fucks up Transformers like the Japanese, and they've done nothing but their damnedest to bury it since Headmasters.

This movie kicks ass. The only thing that would have made it better was if Frank Welker had been chosen for Megatron. I understand why Michael Bay chose Hugo Weaving. Frank Welker never showed up in person from what I've read, so that Michael Bay could put him through his paces as Megatron. He had to know if Frank could deliver what he wanted delivered, and he never got that confirmation. Hugo Weaving was a name actor and lobbying hard for the part. In that context, he made the right decision...he needed someone who he had personally confirmed could play the part. Though obviously like a lot of Hollywood directors, he knows very little about the voice acting industry or he'd known that Frank Welker is the MAN there. Still, Hugo Weaving played a pretty impressive Megatron, however it really was Hugo Weaving trying to be Frank Welker with that tortured raspy anger. Regardless, it was a good job. Everyone else had passable voices, but they hardly got any 'screen time' since the human story took a little more precedence.

All in all, that was my only real complaint...the 'bots and 'cons got very little screen time when compared to the humans...to the point that many of the Decepticons didn't even get speaking roles. There was also the fact that the action scenes, in fact the entire movie, was shot from the human perspective...so you're often left wondering what the Hell just happened during the giant robot fights. Wide angle shots and Transformer perspective shots are recommended for the sequel. Also the inclusion of vocal songs that...you know...are actually good? Seriously, about the only good music was the background score, the stuff Bumblebee played, and that Disturbed song they played only a little of. Everything else was quite forgettable.

Tomorrow the movie comes out on DVD and HD-DVD. Unfortunately no Blu-Ray for you PS3 owners, which kinda sucks. Still, if you've not seen the movie yet, I highly recommend it. Even if you don't like Transformers, you'll be screaming like a little kid when you see them transform going sixty miles an hour down a highway and plowing into all sorts of shit and each other.

Let's hope that the second movie ups the bar even higher. Now, Transform...and ROLL OUT!